The “talking stage” is where everything seems perfect: butterflies, sweet texts, late-night conversations. But sometimes, in all that excitement, we ignore signs that this might not be the healthy connection we think it is. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Is it just me, or is something off?”, this blog is for you.

According to studies published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, individuals often overlook early warning signs of emotional manipulation due to cognitive bias and the desire for emotional attachment. That’s why learning to recognize red flags early can save you from future emotional distress.

1. They’re Hot and Cold

One day they’re super interested, the next day they vanish.
This emotional inconsistency is not “mystery”. It’s a red flag. If someone is genuinely into you, they won’t keep you guessing.

Green flag: Clear and consistent communication.

2. They Avoid Deep Conversations

If they always change the topic when things get emotional or personal-beware.
Real connection needs emotional depth, not just flirty banter.

Tip: Ask a meaningful question and observe how they respond. It’s okay to mention the past but if they bring up their ex in every conversation, they’re not over them. You are not their therapist.

Green flag: Someone who’s healed and emotionally available.

3. They Talk Too Much About Their Ex

It’s okay to mention the past but if they bring up their ex in every conversation, they’re not over them.
You are not their therapist.

Green flag: Someone who’s healed and emotionally available.

4. You Feel Drained, Not Excited

Relationships (even in the early stage) should uplift you.
If you’re overthinking every message or feeling anxious all the time, that’s your body telling you something isn’t right.

Reminder: Peace is a green flag. Confusion is not.

5. They Disrespect Boundaries

If they push you to share or do things you’re not comfortable with emotionally or physically. This is a major red flag.
Healthy interest respects your pace.

No means no. Every time.

6. They Avoid Labels but Want All Benefits

“I’m not ready for a relationship, but I like being with you.”
This line is often a trap. They want closeness without commitment, leaving you confused and emotionally attached.

Ask yourself: Are your needs being met too?

7. They Ghost and Come Back (Repeat Pattern)

Vanishing for days and reappearing with “Hey, you up?” is not romantic. It’s a toxic pattern. You deserve someone who chooses you every day, not when it’s convenient.

Trust Your Gut

If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Your instincts often pick up on things before your mind does. You are not “too sensitive”. You are wise. Your time, energy, and emotions are valuable.

You deserve a love that doesn’t make you question your worth.

Want to Build Healthier Connections?
If you’re navigating the early stages of a relationship and feel confused or overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Book a 1:1 session for support or check out more insightful reads like:

👉 What Is Emotional Maturity?